The Absence of Community is the Root of it all.
Where is the line where some much needed solitude crosses into isolation?
When we need someone, but dont go find them. When we avoid the world because it has treated us unfairly. It does at times, but most of the time we perceive a minor inconvenience as a slight. That person who did something dumb on the highway is just trying to get where they're going, same as us. It was probably me that failed to signal.
In my experience, I can't be around a whole lot of people because I can only humanize so many. Too much and the gen pop gets written off as idiots on autopilot. Fuck em. I dont really feel that way, but its the only way I can prevent overstimulation. Theres a delicate balance between social and solitude. I often fantasize about what its like to have one energizing person around consistently.
Tribe by Sebastian Junger is an argument that mental illness is caused by the absence of community. I couldnt agree more. We are designed to function in small communities who are working toward common goals. Participating in this lights up the same part of our brains that cocaine does. So we turn to screens to connect, and it is a piss poor substitute. They just hijack our rewards systems in the same way that drugs do. So we keep using drugs and screens to take the place of community until they break our brains.
When we are born into a bad familial situation, we never experience community and have no idea whats missing. But even if you have a tight family unit, modern America is inherently isolating. I frequently start conversations with strangers, and especially in the suburbs, people look at me like Im out of my mind. Its such a problem that I had a shirt made to address it. “I dont want anything from you, Im just friendly.”
Mass shooters are nearly always socially inept loners from the suburbs or rural areas. Theyve been emasculated and rejected their entire lives. Then they get on dissociative psych meds that separate them from their actions, and perpetrate what they view as the pinnacle of masculine acts. Isolation + dissociation = catastrophe.
If you want to fix the world, create community. Talk to your neighbors. Online communities are great, but they can never fill this need that we have. Talk to your neighbors. Start a meeting and share your story. Get some people together to clean up a communal space. Be nice to someone weird/awkward. It makes all the difference.
Sure, I'll be part your community...